this is serious.

I AM CURSED.

Without fail, I always choose the slowest line at the grocery store. I think the moment I step in line, the Universe aligns (or becomes chaotic-- maybe that's the problem) to curse me into waiting for a year and a day to get through check-out. I have even tried switching lines if I see a shorter looking line, but to no avail, the line will inevitably slow down. I have chosen seemingly-fast lines, and then there will be some catastrophic issue causing the line to reach a halt. I pay attention to people who trickle into other lines after me and consistently watch them package up their order, pay, and leave before I have even reached the conveyor belt. At first, it bugged me. I would grow impatient and frustrated. I would question myself, my reasoning, my ability to gauge checker-efficiency. Then, I learned to accept it. I want you to know that this has been going on for months, if not years. It has become a necessity to accept my line fate. Imagine the stress wrinkles on my forehead I am saving myself from just by relaxing! But sometimes I want to warn the people who get in line behind me-- just so you know-- this line will move slowly, just because I'm in it. I suggest you find a different line. But I'm afraid it might make me seem like a creeper. Yes? No? What do you think?